Two Sides of Being Alone

These past weeks have been such a struggle between loneliness and wanting to be alone. How does that make sense? One moment I am enjoying my freedom, the space to be just me. I turn up the music very loudly and dance around the room as if no one is watching me. Then it occurs to me that no one is watching me since I am all alone. Oh the sadness of it all!

Another day, I revel in how much I am enjoying plastering posters on all the walls as I sketch out new designs for my dream house, adding details as inspiration strikes me. Then sadness once again seeps in as I wonder if I will live in it by myself. Then I perk up as I affirm how joyful it is that I could build a home totally to my own specifications without having to consider another’s opinion. In another moment, I want someone else’s ideas to flow with mine.

Oh the bother of it all! Why can’t I just enjoy being alone? I am told this is a wonderful time for me to really enjoy my life. I can spend time with friends, do whatever I want, and discover my true essence. Although, I am not sure I really want to know what that is. I am afraid I may like that Sadie even less than I am liking this one.

Of course, Lindy tells me that I may like that Sadie even more, and that I am terrified of that possibility. I laugh at the absurdity of that. Yet, when I am in the throes of despair, as I often seem to be, I wonder, could she be right?

Sadie Jackson, a fictional heroine, is back on the dating scene for the third time. After two trial marriages, she is bound and determined to get it right.She can be nauseatingly optimistic and enjoys recounting her dating experiences with humor and compassion.Follow her dating escapades in this work of fiction that will be updated on a regular basis. For more of Sadie's escapades, go to http://cherivalentine.squarespace.com/sadie/