The slinky black dress sitting on my bed is doing me no good tonight because there is nowhere to go and no one to go there with. I cannot watch another Lifetime Movie of doom and gloom of cheating husbands plotting to kill their wives. And I am sure I should not open another bottle of wine after drinking the first one alone.
Oh, it’s one of the lonely nights I dread. Lindy, my best friend is living her life tonight with her husband of forever. He is so totally perfect and so is she. They have the perfect house, and the perfect kids. I am very lucky also because most of the time she is the perfect best friend, except for tonight when I a sitting here all alone and hating it.
So I will indulge myself in the memory of last night when I boldly set out where no single woman should go, and yet I did. I was on the hunt. I was looking for love, well, not actually love. I’ve sworn off love. I’ve had enough “love” to last me a lifetime. I did however, want sex. A woman has needs, and I am telling you, last night I had needs. My testosterone level was out of control, and I wanted, no I needed to get them back in control. So, I did it the best way I could figure at this point in my life.
I don’t have a man. I don’t want a man, well not all the time. I have decided that I am going to enjoy men for the simple pleasure of them, and on my terms. If I am going to be lonely, lied to, and yelled at, it will be on my terms. More accurately, I will not be lonely. I will not be lied to. I will not be yelled at. I will be enjoyed. So there.
And let me tell you, last night I was enjoyed. Oh yeah. For a few glorious hours, I was not alone. I was in a room full of strangers all playing for my attention. It was sweet as cotton candy! The drinks were flowing as steady as a river on a windy day. Just before closing time, I lassoed the bull with dark hair and dark eyes, not young enough to be my son, and not old enough to match my years. Not only did I lasso him, I led him right to my lair. Oh, I am savoring the memory of what followed.
Then morning came, and we went for another ride. Morning was glorious. The sun shone brightly through my bedroom windows. Ok, so it was noon. Still the sun shone brightly and so did I. Breakfast was delightful. Well, actually it was lunch, and it was great. Then we parted ways. I hiked one of my favorite trails with Lindy. Then headed home to my loneliness. Had I been smart, I would have headed to Macy’s for some therapy. But I went home instead.
After several failed attempts to connect with friends who I had hoped had time on their hands for me, I opened a bottle of wine and let it breathe while I ran a bath. I filled it with lavender and peppermint salts, relaxing and energizing at the same time - what was I thinking? I lit twenty candles, filled a glass of wine, and sunk into the tub. Nirvana. Until I got out. I poured a second glass of wine and pulled out my slinky black dress and put it on. I admired how snugly it fit and tried on four different pair of shoes to see which ones fit my mood for tonight. I poured a third glass of wine, hoping that someone would call. I sent eight requests on match.com. Surely someone will get back to me.
As I gulp the fourth glass of wine, I removed the slinky black dress and put it on my bed - a cruel reminder of Cat Stevens’ lament of” Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody.”
Sadie Jackson, a fictional heroine, is back on the dating scene for the third time. After two trial marriages, she is bound and determined to get it right.She can be nauseatingly optimistic and enjoys recounting her dating experiences with humor and compassion.Follow her dating escapades in this work of fiction that will be updated on a regular basis.
For more of Sadie's escapades, go to http://cherivalentine.squarespace.com/sadie/
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